Sonder

[son-der]

Phonetic (Standard) IPA (Maybe a diabetic type of beer)

Noun 

The sudden realization that every stranger around you has a life as complex, dramatic, and over-seasoned as yours… like discovering every extra in a Marvel movie secretly has their own Disney+ spinoff.

EXPLANATION

Sonder hits when you’re standing in line waiting for pizza, holding a popcorn bowl like it’s emotional support, and it dawns on you that everyone else there is also living a full trilogy — complete with plot twists, side quests, and questionable fashion eras. It’s the mental equivalent of the camera zoom-out at the end of Lost in Translation, except you’re holding garlic knots and still have no clue what the movie was about.

Origin of Word

Circa 2012, coined by writer John Koenig as part of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows later followed by the Man of Lonesome Sorrows. The word was created to name a feeling we all had and could not quite put a finger on but also never labeled — which honestly feels very on brand for the 2010’s: deep emotions, invented words, and artisanal pizza.

Example

I experienced pure sonder while refilling my popcorn at the movies and realizing the guy next to me might be on his way to save democracy, record a breakup album, or just really needs extra butter like I do.

How to use

Use sonder when you’re feeling unexpectedly philosophical in public places — airports, grocery stores, pizza joints — especially when pop culture soundtracks start playing in your head and you realize everyone else is the main character too… even the person who took the last slice, yeah especially them.