Week of Dec 19 2025

Putting it all together

Kernels of the Week  ending Dec 19 2025

So I meet this girl at a party who introduces herself vehemently as the flame of my destiny. Not a firefighter. Not an arson investigator. A grown adult woman claiming to be a phillumenist. Then she starts telling me about piquant cousin who is always in and out of jail. She explained to me in detail her little story about how I matched up with her on Tinder and how it represented a moment in history, which is already a lot for a woman holding a drink in one hand with three olives in the other. She then says she can scry me a river about our future then light up a cigar. I’m worried for my life  and thinking, if this goes south I may not make it out of here alive. The more she talked the more I was sweating listening to her  endless clishmaclaver, swearing she was my destiny. Turns out she was right — we left the party immediately and went to my place, which ended up being the closest police station and had her booked for harassment,  never trust a woman that smokes cigars as a hobby and collects matchbooks.

Which kernels (words) were used correctly in the sentence and which just didn’t do it? Maybe you have no clue, all the more reasons to sign up for the kernel of the day and fill up your popcorn jar.