{"id":2220,"date":"2026-04-10T07:10:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-10T12:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=2220"},"modified":"2026-04-11T21:24:01","modified_gmt":"2026-04-12T02:24:01","slug":"sweet-heists-lead-to-animal-shenanigans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=2220","title":{"rendered":"Sweet Heists Lead to Animal Shenanigans"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

(NNTN) – <\/strong>Not Necessarily the News<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Animal Chaos<\/strong>
On January 5 in Burgsinn, Lower Franconia, Germany, shepherd Dieter Michler watched in disbelief as 50 of his sheep ditched the main herd and stormed a Penny supermarket like extras in a low-budget heist flick. The woolly gang knocked over bottles, left droppings across the aisles, and sent shoppers scrambling onto checkout conveyor belts for safety. Michler later told the Main-Post newspaper the culprits got distracted by acorns in the parking lot. In another unrelated incident a raccoon broke into a Virginia liquor store, got hammered on stolen booze, and passed out cold on the bathroom floor. Cops found him snoring like he just finished a bad breakup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sports Shenanigans<\/strong>
April Fools hit hard this year. The Cleveland Guardians teased naming their new WNBA team the Ohio Wolverines in rival Michigan maize and blue. The Kansas City Chiefs dropped an Andy Reid disguise costume for sale. Utah State floated the idea of a cow-print football field. Meanwhile, the Atlanta Falcons front office issued another statement of \u201cstrong confidence in the process,\u201d which everyone knows is code for another season of mediocrity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

a raccoon broke into a Virginia liquor store, got hammered on stolen booze, and passed out cold on the bathroom floor. Cops found him snoring like he just finished a bad breakup.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Space Mishaps<\/strong>
Just hours after Artemis II launched on April 1 from Cape Canaveral with its four-person crew headed for a lunar flyby, the brand-new Orion spacecraft toilet threw a fit. A blinking fault light appeared, the fan jammed, and for tense moments the astronauts dealt with a zero-gravity plumbing crisis that even Star Wars writers would reject. NASA ground teams talked them through a quick fix while the crew stayed remarkably calm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sweet Heists<\/strong>
Last week in Central Italy, thieves hijacked a truck carrying 12 tons \u2014 that is 413,793 individual bars \u2014 of Nestl\u00e9\u2019s new Formula One-shaped KitKat bars destined for Poland. The chocolatey haul remains missing, prompting KitKat to launch a \u201cStolen Chocolate Tracker\u201d and insist this is definitely not an April Fools prank. Someone out there is now sitting on the world\u2019s most expensive secret stash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey, sheep raid supermarkets in Germany, pro teams prank like bored kids, space toilets rebel on the way to the moon, and 12 tons of KitKat vanish into thin air. Life stays messy, ridiculous, and full of plot twists. Grab a slice of pizza or a warm bowl of popcorn, laugh about it with someone, and remember tomorrow always hands you another chance to keep things light and enjoy the ride. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

a raccoon broke into a Virginia liquor store, got hammered on stolen booze, and passed out cold on the bathroom floor. Cops found him snoring like he just finished a bad breakup.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pgXSPI-zO","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1617,"url":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=1617","url_meta":{"origin":2220,"position":0},"title":"Not Necessarily the News","author":"admin","date":"January 1, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"When real-world news starts feeling like a vibe killing marathon sponsored by chaos, mischief-makers, dimwits, and the occasional full-time scallywag, make this your exit ramp. Welcome to NNTN \u2014 Not Necessarily The News, where satire and journalism hold hands, skip into the \u201cmaybe this happened\u201d zone, and kick facts around\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Not Necessarily the News"","block_context":{"text":"Not Necessarily the News","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/podcast-episode-image-5a6286be2f3f37005a7e5d8c1b6df5fd-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/podcast-episode-image-5a6286be2f3f37005a7e5d8c1b6df5fd-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/podcast-episode-image-5a6286be2f3f37005a7e5d8c1b6df5fd-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/podcast-episode-image-5a6286be2f3f37005a7e5d8c1b6df5fd-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/podcast-episode-image-5a6286be2f3f37005a7e5d8c1b6df5fd-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/podcast-episode-image-5a6286be2f3f37005a7e5d8c1b6df5fd-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1034,"url":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=1034","url_meta":{"origin":2220,"position":1},"title":"The painting, the climate and human rights going left.","author":"Colin Martin","date":"December 30, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"the rest of us sit on the couch, debating whether the mural was a modern art masterpiece, a Shakespearean tragedy","rel":"","context":"In "Not Necessarily the News"","block_context":{"text":"Not Necessarily the News","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-6.png?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-6.png?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-6.png?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-6.png?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/image-6.png?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2104,"url":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=2104","url_meta":{"origin":2220,"position":2},"title":"Food The Final Financial Energy Frontier","author":"admin","date":"February 17, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"A behavioral study out of Stanford University led by psychologist Dr. Kelly McGonigal found participants made poorer financial and dietary decisions after prolonged exposure to Starbucks notifications on their digital devices","rel":"","context":"In "Not Necessarily the News"","block_context":{"text":"Not Necessarily the News","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/image-10.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2068,"url":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=2068","url_meta":{"origin":2220,"position":3},"title":"Japan\u2019s Agricultural Moon Mission Stymied by Dirty Indian Hands","author":"admin","date":"February 5, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"India\u2019s Reserve Bank surprised markets by holding rates steady with unwashed hands, prompting analysts at Mint to describe the move as \u201cbold, brave, and a pass the sanitizer calm,\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "Not Necessarily the News"","block_context":{"text":"Not Necessarily the News","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/image-5.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2062,"url":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=2062","url_meta":{"origin":2220,"position":4},"title":"Savannah Shrinkflation Predicted By Chimp Playing Tetris","author":"admin","date":"February 4, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"According to internal memos leaked to The Journal of Unforced Errors & Other Mythical Ideas, the system rerouted shipments based on vibes, lunar cycles, and something it called \u201ccontainer astrology,\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "Not Necessarily the News"","block_context":{"text":"Not Necessarily the News","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/image-4.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2050,"url":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?p=2050","url_meta":{"origin":2220,"position":5},"title":"Shi Shi and JP Morgan Entangled in Starbucks Icegate","author":"admin","date":"January 30, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Japan\u2019s Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba aka \"Shi Shi Bish\" announced new tech-forward initiatives that fell on tone deaf ears, everyone nodded and bowed politely and pretended they fully understood them,","rel":"","context":"In "Not Necessarily the News"","block_context":{"text":"Not Necessarily the News","link":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/image-3.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2220"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2224,"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220\/revisions\/2224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pizzanpopcorn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}