(NNTN) – 🌎 🍕🍿
A News Take for People Who Know Better
According to Reuters, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen spent the week calmly assuring Americans that the economy is “resilient,” and also “resistance is futile” which translates to “please stop panic-Googling recession.” At roughly the same time, CNBC reported Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon warning of market uncertainty since it lost it’s Apple Pay card, which immediately caused hedge fund managers to stare out windows like Batman contemplating Gotham Baddies. Regular people aka the general populace responded by checking their bank apps, sighing deeply, and reheating stale popcorn, oven warming week old pizza they swore they weren’t going to eat again.
🎯. Over at the BBC, UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak talked stability while voters talked groceries, ramen, and American Swiss cheese, somewhere in this lost conversations inflation quietly grabbed a snack, hid behind some history books and refused to leave. Meanwhile, The Guardian covered climate discussions where world leaders agreed the planet is warming but disagreed on who should turn the thermostat down and who left the fridge door open. The vibe was less global cooperation and more Family Guy arguing over where’s the TV remote with Homer Simpson, with everyone insisting it’s stuck somewhere in the couch along with some stale popcorn.
LeBron James continuing to ignore aging like he’s got a secret Marvel contract, while Patrick Mahomes reminded the NFL that physics is optional if you believe in yourself hard enough ask R. Kelly
🏀 Sports tried to help. ESPN reported LeBron James continuing to ignore aging like he’s got a secret Marvel contract, while Patrick Mahomes reminded the NFL that physics is optional if you believe in yourself hard enough ask R. Kelly. Fans briefly forgot their worries, then remembered them again halfway through the third quarter and ordered wings while watching the Eagles loose in the playoffs.
📌 To close it out, health experts from the CDC and Mayo Clinic gently suggested less stress, better sleep, and fewer screens — advice delivered while most of us sat hunched over laptops as we return to our Neanderthaloid form, butter on our fingers, scrolling headlines like it’s a the first time we saw fire. And that’s today’s world: leaders reassuring, markets wobbling, athletes defying reality, doctors pleading for rest — and us, watching it all like a long-running series that should’ve wrapped three seasons ago along with the Walking Dead and Game of Thrones. Same chaos, new episode, extra salt. 🍿🍕
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