Chaos Spreads As Global Leaders Outsmarted By AI

(NNTN) – In a stunning development reported by every serious news outlet ever, world leaders gathered today to address global uncertainty, inflation, climate change, and why nobody can agree on what movie to watch anymore since the Netflix merger. According to sources (trust us), the meeting immediately stalled when one delegate suggested solutions were “more nuanced,” another asked for a bathroom break, and a third quietly Googled *“how to look productive on Zoom.” Meanwhile, markets reacted appropriately by doing whatever they felt like, analysts blamed bad vibes, the weather, and the anniversary of Benny Hill’s death as the reason. CNN labeled the moment: “Welcome to the Shadow Realm: But Make It Global.” The session adjourned once Dominos dropped off some pizzas and someone opened a box grabbed a slice and picked up a PS5 game controller, proving once again that no crisis survives melted cheese and video games.

Meanwhile, markets reacted appropriately by doing whatever they felt like, analysts blamed bad vibes, the weather, and the anniversary of Benny Hill’s death as the reason.

Over at the technology desk, experts warn that artificial intelligence is advancing at an alarming rate—now capable of writing emails, generating art, predicting your taste in Netflix shows, and recommending popcorn you didn’t ask for but will absolutely eat. A BBC-style calm voice reassured the public that “everything is under control,” which historically means it is not remember the Naked Gun “There is nothing to see here.” ABC News also confirmed that Americans remain divided on whether AI will save humanity or simply replace them at work at the local McDonalds while still asking for a human when customer service goes wrong. Sources say the robots are unfazed and have already moved on to producing prestigious K-Pop dramas and rebooting franchises Hollywood swore were finished.

And finally, in lighter news absolutely buried at the bottom of the page, humanity continues to find joy in small things—movie nights, leftover pizza, and pretending tomorrow doesn’t exist. Sociologists report that despite the headlines, people are still gathering around screens, sharing popcorn, quoting movies incorrectly, and laughing at satire because reality has officially jumped the shark. Experts agree this behavior will continue “indefinitely or until the snacks run out,” whichever comes first